I almost bailed this late afternoon. I very nearly did. After working hard on academic stuff for Duke all afternoon, after homeschooling my children all morning, after a quick errand in between to Target, the tasks yet before me were still far from complete.
I was rushing to prepare dinner so that we could make it on time to Emma Grace’s soccer practice; so that Bill could meet us at the field and take the boys to Cub Scouts; so that we could take the children, ready for bed and at a reasonable hour, over to their Nana’s; so that I could pack and get ready to go; so that I could finish my coursework until the wee hours. And as I was chopping broccoli, I thought to myself: this is too much.
I think I almost always capitulate just before a trip. I don’t always have a choice, of course, but there is a part of me that simply always wants to Stay Home. And this is particularly true when I have a lot to do. And this is More particularly true when the journey involved does not also involve my family.
This journey does not involve any of them. In fact, I am setting out tomorrow with the other three members of the Vlaardinger Boek Club, heading north to Michigan and Calvin College and their biannual Festival of Faith and Writing.
We went two years ago and had a great time. We heard author after author talk about his work; we stood in line to have books signed by the authors; we invited one of them to a meeting of our book club. And– highlight for me– I met Leif Enger, author of Peace Like A River, who signed my copy of the same and encouraged me (Encouraged Me) in my writing.
It required a phone call from Bill, and a moment to think out loud, to make me realize that I could take some of the work I have yet to do with me; that I needed to go on this trip; that this trip would, in fact, be good for me.
I think I’m ready to go now. The children are safely tucked in at Nana’s house. I have cleaned out my purse and packed my suitcase; I have snacks at the ready in the fridge and a note to self so that I won’t leave them there. I have packed a Large Bag with the academic stuff that must needs come along with me, and have even tucked in the text book I have chosen for the class I am teaching in the fall.
There. That’s everything.
And it will be good– So Good– to drive north with these friends. To chat along the way, to watch spring unfold in northern climes where it is not, as yet, so far along. It will be good to immerse myself in this world of books and writing, to put behind me– just for a few days– the quotidian and menial, and remember that I want very much to write. And Why.
Maybe, when I get back, the story that continues to sing in the back of my mind will be a little louder. Maybe I will meet, or hear from, someone who reminds me that it is the hardest and best thing in the world to sit before the empty page. Maybe someday I will finish my book, in spite of the crazy busy-ness of my everyday, and maybe this conference will reignite the fire that drives me to do it.
I’ll let you know how it goes….
