So we’re watching the Pens game tonight. The Pittsburgh Penguins that is. And Bill is watching the game. Not me. Not so much.
They’re in the playoffs, and they’re playing the New York Rangers, so we’re hearing a familiar name drift in and out of the play-by-play. A name that used to be a Pittsburgh name, because he used to play for the Pens: Jaromir Jagr.
It’s a shame he doesn’t play for the Pens anymore. It really is. And that’s not just because he’s a great player. No, it’s a shame because Jaromir’s name is so perfect in a Pittsburgh mouth. I can’t explain it really. If you don’t know what a Pittsburgh accent sounds like, then there’s no helping you. But “Jaromir Jagr” (“j’s” pronounced like “y’s”) was made for Pittsburgh, what with all those vowels and “r’s.” It’s just what a Pittsburgher is wanting for the emphasis and squashing that makes the Pittsburgh accent so unique. It’s marvelous, really.
“Where’s he from again?” I asked Bill. He knew what I was talking about before I had to name it; he caught me smiling over the laundry after the commentator said his name.
“The Czech Republic,” Bill said.
And I told him, and I think it’s true: Pittsburgh couldn’t have done better for a hockey player’s name if they had trolled every page of the Czech Republic phone book. It’s just perfect for Pittsburgh, I’m telling you. Just perfect.
And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, if you don’t know what the Pittsburgh accent sounds like, then I just can’t help you. I can’t. You’ll have to take my word for it.
