What Do you do, I want to know, when your six-year-old daughter and her little friend get hold of a can of Deep Woods Off and spray it All Over the playroom?
Okay. Not All over. Not really All.
But Definitely on the Playmobil pirate ship. And the plastic drum. And Many of the Lego pieces. On the tennis racket. On the little egg-shaped rhythm shaker. And one of the big plastic maracas that came with the drum.
And on the map of Africa before the demarcation, the one you bought at the Masai Market, the one that is printed on fiber made from a baobab tree.
And Also and Thoroughly (for reasons Completely Undecipherable) on a large black plastic bag that was (also for reasons Unknown) in the middle of the playroom floor.
And Also (and not quite Tragically but Really and Truly Most Disappointingly) All Over the Brand New Carpet on said playroom floor.
And this, after you had let them watch Beauty and the Beast in the middle of a (thundering) summer afternoon.
And this, while you yourself were quietly stealing Just A Few More Minutes to (for crying out loud) Read Your Bible and Pray in the Silence of Your Own Room.
That’ll learn ya.
What Do you do?
There’s nothing like this (anywhere) in any of the parenting books I’ve ever read.
For starters: She’s picking up All Of These Toys and scrubbing them with soapy water in the bathroom tub.
And (you can be pretty sure) there’s a spanking in here Somewhere.