Quite a few of my neighbors have flags that they hang outside their homes. Perhaps you’ve seen them: they are banner-like things extended at an angle from the front of the house. Apparently all kinds of flags are available, because I’ve seen any number of different designs. My next-door neighbor has one, and she changes it according to the season.
Now I have no problem with changing things according to the season. I do it myself, and Christmas is just the beginning. I routinely change decorative elements in my home, usually on a seasonal basis– tablecloths, candle colors, ceramics of various designs, the occasional (and welcome) potted hyacinth. But I don’t do the flag thing, even though I have the flag hanging apparatus just to the right of my front door.
I’ve never wanted to hang any kind of flag but the American one. It just seems kind of strange to me. It’s like a banner, or something, and those belong on castles. I don’t live in a castle, and I don’t plan to.
But they’re out there, and they’re eye-catching. My mother-in-law Carolyn, visiting from Pennsylvania, noted one today.
We were driving home from some errands, and we turned into our neighborhood. She said to me, “Do you have a podiatrist in your neighborhood?”
This surprised me. It’s not an everyday sort of question. “No,” I said. “Not that I know of. I mean, maybe we do.” Pause. “Why?”
“Because I saw a podiatrist sign hanging outside of someone’s house.”
“Really?”
“Yes. It was a footprint with a big callous on the heel.”
Well. Like I said, she’s from Pennsylvania, so she can’t be expected to know better. But I explained it to her, and we had a good laugh about it. And it’s really very funny. Very, very funny.
And it does look like a sign for a podiatrist. And the “tar” could very easily be mistaken for a callous. Or a corn. Or a bunion. Or a goiter. Not that I have first-hand experience with these things. But that’s what you get for having such a ridiculous name as “The Tarheels.” That’s what you get.
