Comments on: A Recursive and Parenthetical Meditation Not on Being Nice

By: Beth

Beth — Tue, 25 Jul 2006 12:39:00 +0000

Or your niceness. Which ever it is. And I will be able to figure it out after 9:00 AM

By: Beth

Beth — Tue, 25 Jul 2006 12:30:00 +0000

Here is my problem. I read your blog at 8:00 AM in the morning. Most people function well by 8:00 AM. I official do not actually wake up until 9:00 AM, even though my body does move about before that hour. So I can not process this well enough to comment. But I want to comment. And thus that is why you are reading dribble like this. thank you for your kindness.

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Sun, 23 Jul 2006 18:25:00 +0000

tworivers,Yes, I've heard that before-- that interpretation of the 18th-19th century use of the word "kindness," and I picked up that meaning when I read _Emma_. But isn't that definition, too, an extrapolation of what scripture seems to mean by it: to treat others as you yourself would like to be treated or simply to treat others as if they were the same "kind" as you, in the same "kind," as it were? Because we *none* of us (I think) always give to others the same benefit of the doubt we give ourselves; we none of us provide for others (at least, not for the others we don't like or don't approve of) the same understanding that we have for ourselves. Either way, I like Mr. Darcy's answer, and I've used it, in a way, before. It goes along with what Bill responded earlier. Mr. Darcy can't rightly be accused of kindness because he is doing this thing for his own pleasure. There is no effort in it, no sacrifice. Maybe kindness means sacrifice of some kind. I don't know.Thanks, willow and tworivers both, for your kind comments.I mean it.

By: tworivers

tworivers — Sun, 23 Jul 2006 15:23:00 +0000

It's an interesting word, 'kindness.' I have read it in 18th and 19th century literature when it seemed to mean 'to treat someone as if they were your level in society instead of lower than you are,' so only a higher person can be 'kind' - to elevate someone to the same 'kind' as you are.In the older BBC movie version of Pride and Prejudice at one point Lizzie thanks Mr. Darcy for his kindness to her uncle in inviting him to fish on his estate while they are visiting in the area. "It is not kindness - it is a pleasure," replies Darcy. But of course we don't use it that way now, especially in America where we have consciously done away with class distinctions to a large extent. Now we mean it just as you have used it, as stepping outside ones own comfort or 'rights' in order to be helpful or to reach out to someone else. And you are very nice, and you are very kind. And you are nice and kind together, hand in hand. (Of course 'nice' used to have another meaning, too ... but we don't need to visit that!)

By: Willow

Willow — Fri, 21 Jul 2006 03:51:00 +0000

I was so amazed that you hopped out of bed to come downstairs and help me find stamps, without the slightest hint of annoyance, not the slightest mournful sigh, not the slightest impatient stomp on the stairs. I think that is the highest form of kindness… when you do the “nice” thing after doing battle with yourself first. That’s far superior, from a moral standpoint, to getting the stamps when you are not annoyed, to being nice to your neighbor when they are nice to you, to doing the right thing when it’s EASY to do the right thing.

By: Willow

Willow — Fri, 21 Jul 2006 03:50:00 +0000

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